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A great song for you all...

Ex Guru by David Byrne

Poeetry excerpt #1

I lose my self in laanguage when the words come from a place that is
without languuage. I have trouble moving the spirit through the flesh
through the mind through the fingers. Though, through this all, with
periods of unease, I delight in the words. Languishing on each added
vowel, each stroke of the keys, to provide me one more moment to
connect with an uncertain thought.

Clay's Birthday Dinner

A few shots before Clay's delightful birthday dinner...



Sunflowers next to the grill




Clay getting things ready




Soldiers




Getting the sideboard ready




Setting the gran table





Going over the menu with Chef Bravo



Hopefully, someone has images of the actual dinner, as once it started, I didn't take any shots. Please, pass them along my way.

Artwork

Untitled (23 September - Ramon Emeterio Betances, Segundo Ruiz Belvis, Filiberto Ojeda Rios), 2005-8

C-print, unique, 48 x 32 inches each

On the anniversary of El Grito de Lares (which, led by Ramon Emeterio Betances and Segundo Ruiz Belvis, attacked the exploitation of the Puerto Ricans by the Spanish colonial system and called for insurrection in 1868), Filiberto Ojeda Rios was killed by FBI agents. Some groups are framing the death as the unwarranted assassination of a key player in Puerto Rico's anti-U.S. colonialism movement. This work speaks to the cyclical (Spanish colonialism vs. U.S. colonialism) and arbitrary nature of history and historical dates.

Click on images to enlarge them as they are intentionally blurred:

Tunnels

When I was in Montenegro, we traveled through the Sozina (Созина) tunnel from Podgorica to Bar on one of our excursions. The tunnel was placed into service on July 13, 2005 (incidentally, my birthday). The tunnel is 4,189 m long, and is the longest and most modern vehicular tunnel in Montenegro. I found the tunnel to be a symbol of the progress of the nation as well as a psychological referent to the 'birth of the nation.' This has started an interest in the mythology of tunnels and their place within the human psyche. This is from an interpretation of dreams about tunnels:

Seeing a tunnel in your dream, represents the vagina, womb, and birth. Thus it may refer to a need for security and nurturance. Dreaming that you are going through a tunnel, suggests that you are exploring aspects of your unconscious. You are opening yourself to a brand new awareness. Alternatively, it indicates your limited perspective. Seeing the light at the end of a tunnel, symbolizes hope.

While I am not much of a subscriber to notions Fruedian and/or Jungian, I still enjoy entertaining the idea of pseudoscience (in dream and subconscious interpretation) as being relevant to our understanding of the world. In other words, whether or not there is 'truth' to the meaning of, say, tunnels, we attribute meaning to them through our construction of mythologies surrounding them.

Here are you nice images of the modern tunnel; well-lit, clean, futuristic, yellow and full of richness and meaning:

Image for Upcoming Artwork

I have been working through some ideas regarding Kosovo and Serbia vis s vis the US-born Olympian Milorad Čavić. Above is an image of him holding the Serbian flag and text regarding the act follows.

Cavic endeared himself to Serbs in March when he was suspended from the European Championships for wearing a T-shirt proclaiming "Kosovo is Serbia"—a reference to Kosovo's controversial declaration of independence from Serbia on Feb. 17.

After returning home from that meet, Cavic was greeted by hundreds of fans and met with Serbian nationalist Prime Minister Vojislav Kostunica, who called the swimmer a "hero."

At the Euros, Cavic made his political statement on the podium after winning the 50 fly, displaying a red T-shirt with text in Cyrillic. The European swimming federation ruled the message a political slogan and ejected him— knocking him out of his remaining two events.

"I had to help my people knowing it could be a big risk for my swimming career. I'm proud of what I did," Cavic said then. "I had to do it to help the (Kosovo Serbs), knowing how hard it is for them there."

Cavic became an inspiration among Serbs who object to losing Kosovo, an ethnic Albanian-dominated territory which many Serbs consider the historic cradle of their nation.

Kosovo's independence has been recognized by the United States and most European Union nations.

Cavic, who was born in Anaheim, Calif., to Serb parents and trains in Florida, said he was just trying to send "positive energy" to the country he represents.

I will post more often

Another power grab??

Analysis on the $700 billion bailout in The New York Times:

Some are suspicious of Mr. Paulson's characterizations, finding in his warnings and demands for extraordinary powers a parallel with the way the Bush administration gained authority for the war in Iraq. Then, the White House suggested that mushroom clouds could accompany Congress's failure to act. This time, it is financial Armageddon supposedly on the doorstep.

"This is scare tactics to try to do something that's in the private but not the public interest," said Allan Meltzer (above), a former economic adviser to President Reagan, and an expert on monetary policy at the Carnegie Mellon Tepper School of Business. "It's terrible."

A report that slipped through the cracks

A team of UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles) geographers has uncovered fresh evidence from satellite imagery that last year's U.S. troop surge in Iraq may not have been as effective at improving security as some U.S. officials have maintained.

This interesting story appeared for about 5 seconds on Yahoo's front page but then faded into oblivion. It was distrubuted by AIN, Asian International News, which provides multimedia news to China and bureaus in India. The AIN agency covers virtually all of South Asia and claims, on its official website, to be the leading South Asia-wide news agency. Their coverage includes general news, entertainment, lifestyles, business, science, sports and features.

So here are my thoughts and questions regarding the article, in no particular order:

1) How does a report from UCLA geographers end up on AIN distribution but not the AP of Rueters? Why doesn't make its way to the mainstream? 

2) Why don't we here more about the Independent Commission on the Security Forces of Iraq and their assessment of events? This was a bipartisan commission that was headed by Gen. James Jones, and "reported to Congress in September 2007 on the readiness of the Iraqi Security Forces, their capabilities, and how support and training by U.S. forces contributes to the effectiveness of the ISF."

In a report to Congress in September of that year, General David Petraeus claimed that "the military objectives of the surge are, in large measure, being met."

However, a report the same month by an independent military commission headed by retired U.S. General James Jones attributed the decrease in violence to areas being overrun by either Shiites or Sunnis.

3) What's up with the ethnic cleansing referred to by the UCLA team and Dr. John Agnew, in addition to the September 2007 report?

Night light in neighborhoods populated primarily by embattled Sunni residents declined dramatically just before the February 2007 surge and never returned, suggesting that ethnic cleansing by rival Shiites may have been largely responsible for the decrease in violence for which the U.S. military has claimed credit.

4) This UCLA team is not a group of hacks, if you will, and their research seems easy enough to understand.

Dr. Agnew states that "by the launch of the surge, many of the targets of conflict had either been killed or fled the country, and they turned off the lights when they left."

Baghdad's decreases were centered in the southwestern Sunni strongholds of East and West Rashid, where the light signature dropped 57 percent and 80 percent, respectively, during the same period.

I'm obviously rambling on a bit, but it's stuff like this that confuses me and intrigues me. Will this report make its way to Obama, and if it did, would anyone believe him if he tried to use it to support his position against the surge? Would the general public even be able to understand the significance of something like this? We have to be diligent to seek out and find the truth about what is happening in Iraq. Thanks to Dr. Agnew for his important work.

January 27, 1992 - September 15, 2008

Pascale...



She was cute and did silly, weird things. She liked to meow a lot. She liked to sleep under the covers. She would for no reason suddenly hiss and bite you when you were petting her. She may have been a little mentally retarded (probably, since she rode home in a shoebox with Clay on the back of his motorcycle). She liked to hide in the closet when people came to visit our house. She was suffering from liver failure in the end. She was loved very much and will be missed a lot.

Thank you

for packing my salad in a container
for driving me to the gym
for working on the patio
for being supportive
for remembering "To err is human, to forgive divine"
for making sure Pascale didn't suffer long
for cooking dinner
for planting herbs
for feeding the birds
for going to the flea market
for emailing esurance
for throwing me a nice birthday party
for taking me to Paris
for giving me sessions with Sam
for smiling

Andy Warhol on Eating Alone

Random Thoughts

1) This week I mentioned to a friend that he had grey hair that I hadn't noticed before. Well, for the record, I hope he didn't take it wrong. Grey hair is sexy.

2) I am becoming the person I never knew I could be when I was a young sickly, husky child.

3) I'm reading Foucault again from the later lectures and he is talking about "the care of the self" vis a vis "knowing yourself."

Health Update #3

I just reread my previous post about my last catheter ablation. That was back in November of last year and, boy, there's been a lot of change since then. The ablation worked well till about January when I had a relapse of some palpitations. Not atrial tach nor a-fib or flutter. When I saw my EP, she seemed to think this was a yet undiscovered arrhythmia which, with a change in medicine, seemed to be under control for a while. I went off the medicine in about March, but as my trip to Paris approached, I decided to go back on the Verapamil as a prophylactic. I still have flutters but they are very short and don't concern me as much as before as they tend to pass after a few seconds.

With my new found regular rhythm, I started working out this year. In January, I weighed 212 pounds, the most I had weighed in my life. I began a trial membership at Bally Total Fitness that lasted for ten weeks or so. I made it a point to not join until I had used the trial long enough to be sure I was making the gym a habit in my life. I would go three times a week and do 30 to 45 minutes of cardio and a few reps on the circuit machines. I did a pretty good job on my own and in June I was down to 200 pounds or so.

In July for my birthday, Clay gave me something I had thought about getting for myself last year (right before I broke my arm riding my bike and right before my a-fib came back and I had to have my ablation): sessions with a personal trainer! Sam Page and I began work in July after Paris and my birthday and I have had even more progress. I have gotten down to 189(!) just this week. But, really, I am less concerned about weight and more interested in good health and fitness. We still have a month and a half left in my sessions (but, I would love to get more!), so I will keep you posted on my future progress.

One thing that has really helped is eating Sam's zig zag meal plan that he designed for me. I eat five or six small meals a day and don't go more than three hours without eating. I'm only on my fourth week of the plan, but I see and feel all the difference in the world. As I said, I'm not too concerned about weight, but my most recently purchased suit is about three inches too big in the waist now. And the best part of the meal plan is that it includes two 'cheat' days a week where I MUST eat foods higher in fat and carbs. Tomorrow, I'm having Mexican food and margaritas, and ice cream for dessert. YUMMM.....

That's it for now, but I'll post some before and after photos soon enough.

Menu from my Nobu August 13th Visit

Fig with miso glaze and crisp cilantro leaf

Eel with caviar with citrus horseradish sauce

Toro with cilantro sauce, black bean tofu with soy sauce, whitefish
with frisee & jalepeno, sardines with cherry tomato & chili sauce

Salad of shaved vegetables with fish, crab and conch

Black cod with foie gras and shitake mushrooms
(picture above is the famous black cod and miso)

Waygu beef with tofu and potato

Mushroom soup with shrimp

Sushi course of tuna, whitefish, shad, sea urchin, saltwater eel &
tamago

Layered coffee ice cream crunch with whiskey foam

Paris - Day ?? - July 8, 2008

Théophile Barrau, Suzanne, 1895, Marble
Restaurant Eliance Orsay, Musée d'Orsay, Paris, France, ©photo musée d'Orsay


I found some receipts so I can retrace my Paris steps now.

Up early to go to the Musee d'Orsay for the Impressionist works. Clay and I have a question as to whether the collection is bigger and or better than the Art Institute of Chicago. Also, what would the retail value of each of the works be. Clay wasn't feeling well, so half way through the museum we decided to have lunch there at the Restaurant Eliance Orsay. Eliance is basically a catering company that has the contract for the museum, so I wasn't expecting too much from the food. The ambiance was beautiful, and I thought that'd be enough.

We ordered a bottle of Pommery Champagne to begin. I had an asiette de fromage, of which I'm not sure what particular cheeses I'm served. They are surprisingly good though, Clay has gaspacho petit pois. For our entrees, I had entrecote with pommes frite while Clay has pave de foie de veau. Both entrees are fantastic. Perfectly prepared.

There was a table of four American ladies at the table next to us and I was almost ashamed to be from the same country, They basically ordered one prix fixe menu to split between three of them with one other dish to supplement their measly meal.

But, back to us. Clay finish with ice cream, his dessert of choice at almost every meal. They did have interesting flavors, but I'll need to consult with him to get his input.

After lunch, Clay still was pooped so he went back to the apartment and I finished the museum.

Paris - Day One

Clay and I left Los Angeles at 11AM on Thursday July 2nd via Air Canada to Montreal where we changed planes for a 10PM departure for Paris. We arrived at CDG at 11AM and proceeded directly through customs and baggage claim. It was literally less than 30 minutes to debark, pick up luggage and hail a cab. The cab ride to the center of the city was about 30 minutes. We arrived at our apartment at 4 Rue de Villersexel. In case anyone reads this while we are here, our phone number is 33 (0) 9 50 99 02 44. And obviously our internet connection works.

The apartment is typically Parisian small but absolutely charming and perfectly located near the Musee d'Orsay and the Ste. Germain. We settled in and unpacked and then wandered the neighborhood. Very pedestrian friendly with tons of cafes, bookstores, antique shops, galleries, clothing stores and food shops. We began our vacation with lunch at Cafe de Flore with a bottle of fine 2006 Chablis. Clay had an assortment of saumon fumé et semi-fume avec toasts and I had a salade de magrets de canard haricots verts frais. His salmon was prepared three ways: smoked, semi-smoked and cured and served with a homemade tartar sauce. My duck breast was cured and sliced and served with cold green beans and oil and vinegar. I decided to have gateau du chocolat opera and Clay had coupe flore with chocolat noir and caramel nougatine ice cream sorbet poire with sauce chocolat and chantilly. What a perfect first meal on this trip to Paris.

We wandered through the Ste. Germain, paying visits to a number of the antique shops, but alas, we were not able to swing the 6.000 euro for the 6 salad plates at one of the shops ran by two elder ladies. They referred us to another shop that had more dinnerware, but mostly XVI and XVII century work. We decided to wait to see the flea markets first. We did go to Blanc Ivoire on the Rue du Bac and Gien on the Rue Jacob where we found a few inexpensive plates to our growing collection of French tableware for our new patio.

We came back to the apartment to freshen up before heading to La Saint-Chapelle where we had tickets to a small concert.

Upcoming Trips

San Francisco
Weekend trip

Paris
Weeklong trip

Recent Drawings

Recent Drawings

A Few Studio Shots

Edwina Russell

Clay's mother passed away Friday, April 18, 2008, after a brief hospital stay following a massive heart attack.

Pasha Mosque

Pasha mosque, built in 1719 by Klič Alija of Montenegro

Scott Eric Allen

Odd, but I have a friend named Scott Eric Allen from my distant past (and recent present and future) and a friend from my recent past (and current present and future) named Eric Allen Benet. The two are so radically different from each other in so many ways that to even mention them in the same breathe speaks more about me and my relationship to language than about either of them.

Scott Eric Allen was one of my first true and great loves. Not in the sense that I wanted to be with him in any physical, emotional or spiritual way, but that I respected him, his opinion and ultimately, I trusted him. He was for me a bridge between the identity I felt I was beginning to assume in high school and the identity that people in high school thought I was supposed to assume. He tried to hook me up with cheerleaders and freshmen and even a slut here and there. But, when that didn't work for me, he was still a friend.

He underestimated the influence he had on me. And when he contacted me - out of the blue - a few years ago, I was confused and suspicious. But he had come to suspect that he might have been trying too hard to make me bend to a conformist world view. Quite the opposite. He was a touchstone. I needed to be grounded for the time being. He was what he needed to be for me at that time. He helped me realize that, even though I was not Scott Eric Allen, I could still be friends with someone like Scott Eric Allen. He was warm and loving. And, as I eventually came to understand, I wasn't so much of a freak as to be completely ostracized by all of society.

I saw him at our high school reunion just shy of two years ago and, of all the faces I saw, he had a wisdom in his eyes that I can't begin to explain. When he emailed me a few years back, he wanted to be sure that I was OK. And when he saw me, and when I saw him, I think we knew that we had remained a part of each others lives for the last twenty years. I am proud to say that he is still (and will always be) a part of me, my psyche and my life.

All of my love and respect to you, Scott.

p.s. He married his high school sweetheart Audrey and, I'm happy to report, has the perfect life for himself and his family.

Back in the Saddle

Well, actually, back on the treadmill. For those who haven't heard, I began an exercise routine this year. This is my first routine in over five years and quite seriously my first real exercise routine. A shout out to Sam Page, a personal trainer in LA that I paid a visit to toward the end of last year. He did an analysis of me and I was inspired by his findings - particularly, that I have pretty good stamina, if not good posture. With that, I began biking until my infamous crash and broken arm. Well, I was all healed by January and I came across a free two-month pass to Bally's. I used it and stuck with it and eventually decided to join.

Here is my routine: thirty minutes on the treadmill. I was originally doing fast walking on an incline for the whole session. I recently built up to fifteen minutes running (yes, RUNNING) and fifteen on the incline walking. Today, however, I ran eighteen minutes. I hope to get to a full thirty minute run in a few weeks. More bang for the buck.

Next, I do the weight stuff. I don't need to go through every machine, but I hit every major muscle area. I have a designed a card listing the exercises I perform and I track the weight I do. I have been gradually increasing the amount and have considered adding free weights. I meet with the Bally's trainer when I signed up and he walked me through the free weights and he thinks it is time for me to step it up.

Then, on to the elliptical for a final cardio routine. I was doing fifteen minutes but have worked up to twenty. On the elliptical, I go to 80% heart rate or more. That's where I end it. All takes about an hour and a half. And I love the amounyt of time that I can take to clear my mind. I have such energizing and creative thoughts during that time.

I have worked up a playlist that I use during the routine. When I run on the treadmill, I have a terrible sense of balance and just look at my feet the whole time. When I get to the running portion, I just decide to go for three or four songs. Don't look at the readouts on the machine until those songs have played. My favorite song right now is Hot Chip's Ready for the Floor. Of course, I have the seven minute remix!

My progress so far is a 5% drop in body weight, but much more energy, stamina, self-esteem, pride, etc. Also, my heart seems to be functioning better. I went into a-fib or flutter last week and converted back to normal sinus rhythm within 24 hours without having to go to the doctor or an emergency room. I am freaking loving my life right now. And I, for the first time in my life, can say I think I am in good health. Finally.

Tricia (Casler) Whitmire (and Vinc Whitmire)

I met Tricia while attending the University of Southern Mississippi. We were in a history class together and it was there we decided we were both Sophists. That was a long time ago, and one of my earliest introductions to philosophy. What can I say about Tricia? She quickly became a Punk in the sense that she held her own views and became amazingly individualistic. She had been in a marching band, but she would not be lock-step ever again. We, of course, discussed the poetry of Morrissey (when he was with The Smiths) and how the words he sang were the most profound we had heard at the time. We also thought about places like Botswana, my initial introduction to global political thought.

Tricia went on to join the Navy. I thought it odd that she would take her nose ring out and put on a uniform, but I would never judge her. After all, so many people in my life have been fiercely patriotic and served their country proudly: my friend Wally Williamson became a Marine while I was still in high school, my friend Glen E. Harrison was in the Air Force (and later the Peace Corp), my partner Clay R. Russell was in the Navy. I was always aware that I could not join the forces had I wanted to, and I might have wanted to. With my heart, and with being gay, it was a club I couldn't join.

But, I assume part of her motivation to join the Navy was based on the fact that her family (father and brother(s)) had been in the service. Her love for her family and it's tradition won her over to the idea. And I feared she would loss her individuality. When you're young, you think that 'individuality' can be lost, or worst yet, taken away from you. It can't be taken away, it has to be surrendered, and Tricia was too strong to surrender hers.

I was so proud to know that she was at the ceremony (acting as a translator) returning Hong Kong sovereignty to China in 1997. This was a quantum leap from sitting together in a junior history class to actually witnessing history in the making. I had a similar feeling for myself when I was in Montenegro just after they declared independence. And, I have a similar feeling for my friend Rushit Veliu who just celebrated independence in Kosovo on February 17, 2008. And I am also proud that through her time in the Navy she has met her life's love Vinc and they will continue to make their own history together.

Kelly J. Kitchens

Kelly J. Kitchens is one of the most gregarious people I have ever met. I have never seen her angry at another human being. I know she has to have her down days (like when she had the leak and it ruined all of her office, or the tumor, or the other MAJOR things), but she seems to always see the light through the tunnel. She is blessed to have met her soulmate Mark and to have a career of her choosing. When we were in high school, she was on yearbook where she, believe it or not, made up quotes and attributed them to me. Mostly things about David Sylvan & Japan or The Thompson Twins or other bands she loved. Point is, even then she was finding a way to promote her favorites in print. As a publicist, she has passion for the people and projects she takes on. To learn more about her, she has a personal blog at Herd of Words and her business site is at Kelly Kitchens PR. Tell her Calvin sent you...