Scott Eric Allen

Odd, but I have a friend named Scott Eric Allen from my distant past (and recent present and future) and a friend from my recent past (and current present and future) named Eric Allen Benet. The two are so radically different from each other in so many ways that to even mention them in the same breathe speaks more about me and my relationship to language than about either of them.

Scott Eric Allen was one of my first true and great loves. Not in the sense that I wanted to be with him in any physical, emotional or spiritual way, but that I respected him, his opinion and ultimately, I trusted him. He was for me a bridge between the identity I felt I was beginning to assume in high school and the identity that people in high school thought I was supposed to assume. He tried to hook me up with cheerleaders and freshmen and even a slut here and there. But, when that didn't work for me, he was still a friend.

He underestimated the influence he had on me. And when he contacted me - out of the blue - a few years ago, I was confused and suspicious. But he had come to suspect that he might have been trying too hard to make me bend to a conformist world view. Quite the opposite. He was a touchstone. I needed to be grounded for the time being. He was what he needed to be for me at that time. He helped me realize that, even though I was not Scott Eric Allen, I could still be friends with someone like Scott Eric Allen. He was warm and loving. And, as I eventually came to understand, I wasn't so much of a freak as to be completely ostracized by all of society.

I saw him at our high school reunion just shy of two years ago and, of all the faces I saw, he had a wisdom in his eyes that I can't begin to explain. When he emailed me a few years back, he wanted to be sure that I was OK. And when he saw me, and when I saw him, I think we knew that we had remained a part of each others lives for the last twenty years. I am proud to say that he is still (and will always be) a part of me, my psyche and my life.

All of my love and respect to you, Scott.

p.s. He married his high school sweetheart Audrey and, I'm happy to report, has the perfect life for himself and his family.