Pasha Mosque

Pasha mosque, built in 1719 by Klič Alija of Montenegro

Scott Eric Allen

Odd, but I have a friend named Scott Eric Allen from my distant past (and recent present and future) and a friend from my recent past (and current present and future) named Eric Allen Benet. The two are so radically different from each other in so many ways that to even mention them in the same breathe speaks more about me and my relationship to language than about either of them.

Scott Eric Allen was one of my first true and great loves. Not in the sense that I wanted to be with him in any physical, emotional or spiritual way, but that I respected him, his opinion and ultimately, I trusted him. He was for me a bridge between the identity I felt I was beginning to assume in high school and the identity that people in high school thought I was supposed to assume. He tried to hook me up with cheerleaders and freshmen and even a slut here and there. But, when that didn't work for me, he was still a friend.

He underestimated the influence he had on me. And when he contacted me - out of the blue - a few years ago, I was confused and suspicious. But he had come to suspect that he might have been trying too hard to make me bend to a conformist world view. Quite the opposite. He was a touchstone. I needed to be grounded for the time being. He was what he needed to be for me at that time. He helped me realize that, even though I was not Scott Eric Allen, I could still be friends with someone like Scott Eric Allen. He was warm and loving. And, as I eventually came to understand, I wasn't so much of a freak as to be completely ostracized by all of society.

I saw him at our high school reunion just shy of two years ago and, of all the faces I saw, he had a wisdom in his eyes that I can't begin to explain. When he emailed me a few years back, he wanted to be sure that I was OK. And when he saw me, and when I saw him, I think we knew that we had remained a part of each others lives for the last twenty years. I am proud to say that he is still (and will always be) a part of me, my psyche and my life.

All of my love and respect to you, Scott.

p.s. He married his high school sweetheart Audrey and, I'm happy to report, has the perfect life for himself and his family.

Back in the Saddle

Well, actually, back on the treadmill. For those who haven't heard, I began an exercise routine this year. This is my first routine in over five years and quite seriously my first real exercise routine. A shout out to Sam Page, a personal trainer in LA that I paid a visit to toward the end of last year. He did an analysis of me and I was inspired by his findings - particularly, that I have pretty good stamina, if not good posture. With that, I began biking until my infamous crash and broken arm. Well, I was all healed by January and I came across a free two-month pass to Bally's. I used it and stuck with it and eventually decided to join.

Here is my routine: thirty minutes on the treadmill. I was originally doing fast walking on an incline for the whole session. I recently built up to fifteen minutes running (yes, RUNNING) and fifteen on the incline walking. Today, however, I ran eighteen minutes. I hope to get to a full thirty minute run in a few weeks. More bang for the buck.

Next, I do the weight stuff. I don't need to go through every machine, but I hit every major muscle area. I have a designed a card listing the exercises I perform and I track the weight I do. I have been gradually increasing the amount and have considered adding free weights. I meet with the Bally's trainer when I signed up and he walked me through the free weights and he thinks it is time for me to step it up.

Then, on to the elliptical for a final cardio routine. I was doing fifteen minutes but have worked up to twenty. On the elliptical, I go to 80% heart rate or more. That's where I end it. All takes about an hour and a half. And I love the amounyt of time that I can take to clear my mind. I have such energizing and creative thoughts during that time.

I have worked up a playlist that I use during the routine. When I run on the treadmill, I have a terrible sense of balance and just look at my feet the whole time. When I get to the running portion, I just decide to go for three or four songs. Don't look at the readouts on the machine until those songs have played. My favorite song right now is Hot Chip's Ready for the Floor. Of course, I have the seven minute remix!

My progress so far is a 5% drop in body weight, but much more energy, stamina, self-esteem, pride, etc. Also, my heart seems to be functioning better. I went into a-fib or flutter last week and converted back to normal sinus rhythm within 24 hours without having to go to the doctor or an emergency room. I am freaking loving my life right now. And I, for the first time in my life, can say I think I am in good health. Finally.

Tricia (Casler) Whitmire (and Vinc Whitmire)

I met Tricia while attending the University of Southern Mississippi. We were in a history class together and it was there we decided we were both Sophists. That was a long time ago, and one of my earliest introductions to philosophy. What can I say about Tricia? She quickly became a Punk in the sense that she held her own views and became amazingly individualistic. She had been in a marching band, but she would not be lock-step ever again. We, of course, discussed the poetry of Morrissey (when he was with The Smiths) and how the words he sang were the most profound we had heard at the time. We also thought about places like Botswana, my initial introduction to global political thought.

Tricia went on to join the Navy. I thought it odd that she would take her nose ring out and put on a uniform, but I would never judge her. After all, so many people in my life have been fiercely patriotic and served their country proudly: my friend Wally Williamson became a Marine while I was still in high school, my friend Glen E. Harrison was in the Air Force (and later the Peace Corp), my partner Clay R. Russell was in the Navy. I was always aware that I could not join the forces had I wanted to, and I might have wanted to. With my heart, and with being gay, it was a club I couldn't join.

But, I assume part of her motivation to join the Navy was based on the fact that her family (father and brother(s)) had been in the service. Her love for her family and it's tradition won her over to the idea. And I feared she would loss her individuality. When you're young, you think that 'individuality' can be lost, or worst yet, taken away from you. It can't be taken away, it has to be surrendered, and Tricia was too strong to surrender hers.

I was so proud to know that she was at the ceremony (acting as a translator) returning Hong Kong sovereignty to China in 1997. This was a quantum leap from sitting together in a junior history class to actually witnessing history in the making. I had a similar feeling for myself when I was in Montenegro just after they declared independence. And, I have a similar feeling for my friend Rushit Veliu who just celebrated independence in Kosovo on February 17, 2008. And I am also proud that through her time in the Navy she has met her life's love Vinc and they will continue to make their own history together.

Kelly J. Kitchens

Kelly J. Kitchens is one of the most gregarious people I have ever met. I have never seen her angry at another human being. I know she has to have her down days (like when she had the leak and it ruined all of her office, or the tumor, or the other MAJOR things), but she seems to always see the light through the tunnel. She is blessed to have met her soulmate Mark and to have a career of her choosing. When we were in high school, she was on yearbook where she, believe it or not, made up quotes and attributed them to me. Mostly things about David Sylvan & Japan or The Thompson Twins or other bands she loved. Point is, even then she was finding a way to promote her favorites in print. As a publicist, she has passion for the people and projects she takes on. To learn more about her, she has a personal blog at Herd of Words and her business site is at Kelly Kitchens PR. Tell her Calvin sent you...